Titles have never been my thing, but it is in fact New Years Day so let’s just start there. Anyone else feeling more anxious than excited on this first day of 2019. I know (or hope) I am not the only one. I have the entire day off to reflect and contemplate the past and future and WOW is that not relaxing. My 11 year old is completely enjoying (and taking advantage) of the day with TV, reading and craft projects (colorfully displayed throughout the apartment). I am taking the day to sort through a years worth of magazines, receipts and discarded journal attempts. I find myself casually popping online to break up the tediousness of this task and becoming completely overwhelmed by the lack of sparkle in my life. So many beautiful couples and families and vacations. My reality is more sweatpants, to do lists, arguments with the level of stink required before my pre-teen needs to actually clean herself and priority in bills to be paid based on which one will be just a late fee or a cancellation of service. This is most of our realities. It is not the one we share with the moms at school and it does not photograph well but it does seem to be the closest to the truth for most of us. The truth can be hard and scary especially when we look to those around us who seem to have such sparkle.
Where do we begin? As a professional in the health and wellness field I am suppose to have answers and quick tips to cure your emotional and physical ailments. Believe me I wish I had the one magical answer for you. Here is what I do have…Hope. Yeah I know, try not to gag or delete me now. Hope is the possibility that things will change. The possibility that our lives will improve. I do in fact have hope. It is what helps. Oprah will say gratitude. Be grateful and write that down. I have that too but it is not what gets me through the day. Hope is what allows me space for gratitude. I have been on the edge of hopelessness. It is dark and lonely there. Without hope we can not see past the cliff’s edge.
You are not alone. You are not the only one. Not everyone’s lives are photo perfect or Instagram pretty. Most of what I find worthy in my life is far from pretty. The grit the work the sweat those are the moments of change and transformation. My life is not perfect. It is not where I want it to be as far as money and physical fitness but it is exactly where I want it to be in that I love what I do. I love the daughter I have and her excitement and artistic eye. I love the challenges of the day and the community I am creating. I love that each day I learn something new. I love that even though I can not always increase the number in my bank account I can always manifest what I need. In 2019 I want to have more hope. I want to feel that others around me are also hopeful. That there are some people out there standing on the cliff of hopelessness that are choosing to step back. Maybe a small step but enough to see the sliver of hope that can grow. Life is hard, but it is also amazing. We never know how things can shift and change. So in 2019 I have hope and that is what I pass on to you.