“I eat what I feel like eating. If people could see the way I live-smoking, drinking, loving – they wouldn’t believe it. Loving! Without it you are dead.” Joseph Pilates
My inner voice is a cheerleader. It’s taunted me all my life. When I feel my natural wall flower self hiding its that damn peppy Cheerleader who steps up and pushes me forward. The ironic thing about this is that in high school, and years later, I molded myself after those dark isolated souls like Ally Sheedy’s character in the Breakfast Club and Samantha Mathis in Pump Up the Volume.
We all have these inner voices and personalities. They are part of us. The shadow parts that we need to integrate but also they are the voices that remind us to stay true to ourselves. In my case this annoying peppy girl is forcing me to step forward and be seen. I know it is crazy in this “selfie world” but I do not actually love the spotlight. I mean I love to dabble in it but not in a consistent way where I actually need to be photographed or put on video. So I am embracing it anyway, putting myself out there. Being vulnerable and as authentic as I know how. there will be haters….I mean aren’t there always. But hopefully there will be people who see, hear and listen to what I put out into the world and relate and become inspired so that they too can heal and shed those masks.
A week ago I posted to my Instagram a photo of me doing Teaser. I was honest about myself in that moment and I made a commitment to myself that I would no longer put myself on hold as I waited for the perfect time, perfect weight, perfect angle and perfect photo. The message I have for the world is not really for the world but for those who can hear or see themselves in it. I am not for everyone but I do believe there are some people out there that can hear or see what I do and see themselves in that. There are a lot of things I wish were different in my life but if I wait for all those things to be perfect I will miss out on the living things. So I am beginning now to put myself out there in my imperfect way and grow with all of you as we follow that path together and hopefully end up in the place we are meant to be.
Mind: Get out of your way and just do that thing. What are you afraid of. I bet if you voiced it to someone else they would look at you like you confused. Most of the time our fear is imagined and grows over time into the monster under our bed. When we voice that fear to others they can’t fathom it because it normally does not match their judgments of us. For me it is being seen. Being in front of a camera. Being live on any stage, on any platform.
Spirit: If we can step into our true way of being, our most authentic self we can finally allow our spirit to join our earthly bodies. We can acknowledge that energy in ourselves and live a life we are meant to have.
TEASER : It is all about balance and strength and giving up the perfection
- Begin on your back with knees bent and feet flat
- Bring your legs to table top position (45-degree angle)
- Exhale: Nod your head slightly and begin scooping your abdominal muscles in and up rolling your torso off the mat. Reach your arms toward your legs while keeping the shoulders down.
- Inhale at the top and widening your collarbone, lift your eyes and feel length and energy travel through your spine from your sitz bones through your crown
- Exhale to roll down. Control with your abdominals